I've seen the puppet show, now put it back in your pants....

Have you ever noticed how men love to show you their junk?
I mean really, it can be like a full time hobby for them. I can not count the number of times I have stepped into my bedroom ( or out of the shower, or looked up from loading the dishwasher, etc) to see my husband showing me his hoo-hoo...not just showing it, but flashing it, making it "dance" or hanging a towel from it so that it's "lifting weights".
What the hell is that all about?!? Can you imagine a woman doing that?
When is the last time you heard about a woman laying in bed waiting for her husband to open the door so that she can show him the pencil she can hold under her boob? Never gonna happen!
I'm not saying we're not proud of our bodies or that we don't get silly in the bedroom sometimes, but I just never had the urge to glue plastic googly eyes on my cha-cha and give a puppet show to my husband as some kind of romantic interlude. I just figured that wouldn't do much for him, I know it doesn't do a thing for me, and have you ever tried to remove a glue dot from your crotch, not fun! So, I'll stick to my lingerie, thank you very much!
But I believe men DO think that we get some kind of illicit thrill from watching them dance like ferrets on crack while waving their man business around. They just look so pleased with themselves when they do it, and always have this look on their face like "oh yeah, baby, check it out!" Of course, they are shocked when we are not immediately overcome with awe at the sight of them.
Really hubby, what is my response supposed to be? Am I supposed to swoon at the sight of it and fall onto my back in a fit of desire. Why because you drew a smiley face on Mr. Happy? You want to send me into a fit of ecstasy? Drive my carpool, do the dishes, help put the kids to bed or at least leave me the hell alone and get your winkie out of my face for 5 minutes so that I can finish reading my book! Then, I'll be happy to turn off the lights and see what tricks Mr Happy can do.

That's my daily rant...
D